Divorce Support Forums: ex not going to agree to medation agreement

I'm not understanding exactly how this helps him and hurts you or the kids. It sounds like almost the same amount of time other than that there are a lot fewer 5th weekends in hte year so he gets a whole lot more weekend times. If he gets Sat to Tuesdays that means he has to drive them further to school, which makes no sense with what you've said... so ...

Here's the thing. It sounds like you've got a basic agreement on how MUCH time... whether Fri through MOnday or Sat through Tuesday is really the big issue. So figure out, what is it about the monday overnight that makes him think that will be easier for him? If he works friday nights and has a sunday monday weekend, as some people do, then it sounds great... he doesn't have to work on the day he gets the kids, you get them EVERY friday ... and then the only real issue is whether he gets weekend number 5 or weekend number 2...

If you're thinking this would not work, then be prepared to explain why (why it wouldn't work for you, not really why it wouldn't work for HIM... if HE says he's willing to make the drive, then that's really HIS problem, isn't it?)...

The total extra weekends he gets is 8 more in the year... but probably a few less than that if you count holidays and vacations where you also get extra weekends so those go out of the total count... it might be like 7 or 6 more weekends in the whole year after you remove the vacation weeks from the mix. When the judge looks at it, the difference of 6 or 7 weekends total is not going to look like something that's really worth fighting over UNLESS you have a VERY GOOD REASON for the fight.

Are you saying that he's not really going to keep the children for MOndays OR tuesdays because he won't do the drive, and he's jus tasking to avoid Fridays so he can go out with a girlfriend... and he's just asking for the extra weekends because it somehow bumps him up on the visitation a level to get to a spot where he doesn't have to pay much support but the actual visitation is just gonig to be a sham for the purposes of reducing the support... well... THAT might be a real reason that the court would think is worth worrying about.

But if you're frustrated becasue you thought you had something worked out and he decided to move after that and found out about a shift change at work so that it would make your original agreement impossible, and you're just frustrated at the change but not really hating it other than that you think the kids will be late to school on Mondays and Tuesdays every other week... well... the jduge is going to let him try to get the kids to school on time and will be frustrated that you're not trying to be flexible to help his schedule... which... if it's a WORK schedule he's trying ot work around, that's an employment which is going to be providing the child support to it's worth trying to work around.

Let us know exactly what is the problem with this new schedule he proposes... and maybe we can help you figure a way to re-negotiate to get back to a reasonable agreed-upon settlement... or maybe we can at least help you figure out how to explain to the judge what's wrong with it.

If the ONLY thing wrong with it is that it's not what you already agreed to, then the lack of being flexible within reason could count against you.

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