Divorce Support Forums: In a quandry....

I filed for D nearly a year ago. At the time, I had a track record for over a year of having traveled for work - an average of 20%. I felt like I had no other choice as the STBX wouldn't budge on getting a real job or giving up the expensive toys. I see now that I did, but that's water under the bridge.

In lieu of a temp hearing for custody, we opted to have a social study performed to make a primary residence designation. That study was concluded in the fall, and all signs pointed to him being named primary.

Just prior to the scheduled temp. custody hearing date, it was discovered that the STBX had been stalking me online, had access to attorney/client privileged emails, and quite possibly negatively influenced the social worker with information he'd obtained from the activity. Everything went on hold for an investigation to uncover if he'd tainted the social study with what he learned from his online stalking.

During that time, the keylogging software created a huge stink at work and I was fired. The forensics investigator has conclusive evidence of the offense.

Since then, I've also had another child with another man, and have become a SAHM (seven months to date). Prior to taking the six digit income job to keep us afloat, I was VERY involved in our child's daily life. Furthermore, the BF was involved in the previous social study, in spite of the fact we were NOT living together at the time, and he was not deemed to be a danger to the child. My attorney is more than happy to put him on the stand in the event the BF's character is attacked by the STBX's counsel. Last, and certainly not least, the child subject to the custody decision has become very attached to her baby sibling.

At any rate, what was considered "status quo" at the conclusion of last year's social study has changed significantly.

I'm facing a court date in the very near future to discuss primary custody. I'm in a quandry on which option is best:

- Mediation: Pros - expose the STBX for the manipulative jerk he is, IF the mediator is in a position to testify should we go to full-blown trial. The one similar situation, he stormed out of the room and refused to return. Cons: it is a waste of money and goes nowhere.

- Demand another social study. Pros - he goes into it with a credibility issue (as the first one is tossed out due to his stalking me online). I am in a better position as primary caregiver than I was the first round. Cons - He gets the recommendation a second time (how, I have NO idea)

- Temporary Hearing. Pros - the argument that the status quo has changed and my home is a stable, loving, family environment (which it is - there is/was no abuse or neglect cited from the first study) Cons - his attorney being an extension of the STBX and pushing my buttons on the stand, challenging the first SW's recommendation with the current status quo of my being a SAHM, too much dirty laundry that is nothing short of embarrassing.

What to do???

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