You don't need to change to sole custody. You need to change the residential parent from 50/50 to one house or the other. The child needs to know what school he is going to and you need to work it through.
I would look at a mediator first. See if they can help you identify the critical points. Plus, if your ex is unreasonable, then they will see it.
I think what KGrow is saying is that your post is wildly all over the place. A court wants to see a plan. That plan is either accepted, disputed or modified. They don't want to hear about what either one of you has done, they want to know your plan going forward for your son.
If you have 50/50 and you took your child to a counselor with no notice and an intent to hide it by paying cash, that can be spun to say that you are coaching him to go against his dad. Not saying that is what is going on, but Joint custody is joint - you can't start counseling without input.
I really think mediation needs to happen. It sounds like your son feels like he is in a tug of war because neither of you has a plan. The move alone will create a substantial change in circumstance for you to re-open custody.
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