Divorce Support Forums: Looks like I'm going on a date

Don't be surprised at what I'm about to say. at your stage of this, a meetup feels a whole lot more important than it really is. It's not actually a date. It's just a meeting. If she clued into your feeling like it was really a date... in other words, a significant event... well, she might have been a little worried not to go too fast.

A candle that burns too brightly also burns out quickly, you know... but only people who've been dating in the real world for a while will remember that and be able to know whether it's moving too fast. For you, everythign will seem too fast and not fast enough at the same time... everything will be too important and not enough.

You're maybe too fresh from wanting to reconcile. Consider resolving your feelings about whether you CAN reconcile before you figure out whether you want to spend more time with a woman you recently met. And all you did was meet her, talk to her, spend some time with her.

The awkwardness was because you're used to being with someone who goes home with you after the walk is over, who naturally hugs & kisses you if she feels the closeness, who knows the signals when you're "in the mood". You're not used to NOT being intimate with a woman who is the object of your flirtation/interest. So of course it feels awkward. You dont' know what it's like any more, to be interested in a woman and not intimate with her.

Ther'es a wonderful thing about feeling comfortable with someone you've chosen to spend your life with, and you may want that back right NOW... but you can't have it. NOT NOW. What you can have is the learning experience of finding out what it's like to have that little uncertainty, the insecurity of not knowing if she likes you or not, if she wants you to lean in for a kiss, or more. You NEED the experience of getting to knwo each other. rather than trying to find a woman who is ready to slide right into the spot in your bed that was left by your ex.

Right now, at the stage you're in, you're just trying to fill the empty spot. And all that this relationship is ready for is a few talks, maybe a shared experience or two, the development of a friendship.

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