Divorce Support Forums: My boss? Advice please.

Look, I don't think you understood my analogy. I wasn't suggesting that you were going to post photos on myspace or anything. I'm saying that the forethought that has to go into a dating relationship with a co-worker needs to be as significant as the forethought that SHOULD go into posting explicit materials on the internet... think it through to 10 years from now when you are wanting the guys in your male-oriented industry to take you seriously... think it through to when your boss' boss gets wind of it.... think it through till when your boss either starts taking the relationshp more seriously than intended, or LESS... or when he falls in love with a different girl he's not even met yet and SHE decides that there's something that she can't quite put her finger on between the two of you and she's not comfortable with it.

You & he are different generations and he's bound to think of things in a slightly different light than you are.

PLUS, like it or not, sex changes things... no matter what generation you're in. And this is not a change that's good for a work relationship. Usually. Those of us who have seen work related romances between co-workers, bosses & employees, etc., will pretty much universally agree that in a larger organization (not a mom & pop shop), it's best if the peopel are on equal footing, not reporting to each other, in different divisions or assignments... different floors or buildings or branches if possible... And of course keeping the information about the relationship away from the workplace is a given or else everyone else will be talking about it and having certain expectations no matter WHAT your own agreements abou tthe relationship might be.

If you want a FWB relationship, do it with someone who does not ever have to review a report, give an employee evaluation, decide on whetehr you should get a raise or promotion, hand out key assignments or better territories. I worked in a workplace where friendships were very common. We had lunches, dinners, birthday parties, happy hours. We got together on weekends, at each other's houses, had baby showers at the office and spouses were often welcome at our office parties. Heck, we had one mandatory party every year where spouses were expected (those who protested against the mandatory party called it the "prom"). We liked each other and developed our pool of close friendships mostly within the office or among out competitors' staffs as well. One big, happy family.

But EVERY time co-workers had an affair (and that's what it is called if others find out about it... FWB does not remain so sweetly honestly above board and dispassionate when the rest of the office talks about it)... it never ended well. It was a good thing if it ended without embarassment to both. The few who ever married were very rare, and HAD to be on equal footing within the office or one or the other would have to find a way to transfer/quit/wahtever.

Handle your love life however you choose OUTSIDE of the office. But INSIDE the office, be VERY careful.

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