Divorce Support Forums: Spin and the court's story

I have to say this is not that unusual. on BOTH sides, I find that whenever someone whines about injustice it's usually because there was some thing missing. Something they didn't do. I am very vocal about telling men to spend more time with the kids immediately upon separation and not allow the ex to get the opinion that the courts are all in her favor or that she'll get a financial score for having the kids more often, because my husband started with that fear and acted as if it had already happened, allowing his ex to be gatekeeper for the kids' time... and pretty much everyone knows where he ended up. And it was mostly because he started out with that attitude... allowed her to keep the kids... and the therapist who did hte custody evaluation said, "they like her, they want to stay, let's let them stay for 90% of the time... she'll be unrealistic, spend too much, not teach them about budgeting or make them do chores or homework, but what harm could it REALLY do? They like her and they'll rebel against this stuff it they're forced to go to thier Dad's anyways, so let's let things stay the way they are... that's how he allowed it when he first left, anyways... so it's not like HE disapproved".

He trusted the court system and that's what he got for it. But he doesn't go around complaining that the court did a bad thing to him. He recognizes that he allowed it to happen. NOW... if there were a presumption of 50-50 parenting, the court system would have protected his interests and the childrens' a whole lot more... but we don't have that, and he allowed a NON-50-50 plan to take effect from day one...

USUALLY, when someone is whining about having been cheated, there's something that could be pointed to that would show... nope, you did it to yourself.

And here we have proof. NOW is running around saying that this woman was treated poorly in the courts... and it makes some kind of sense if THEY are the only ones you talk to... but go to the source and find out the whole story and it's a whole different picture, isn't it?

And interestingly, this is in a system that usually favors the mothers... yet they turn it into something that makes it sound like Moms have no chance. if a man got married and wanted to move away to be closer to his new wife's family estate, you can BET everyone would say some pretty nasty things about him ripping the kids from her arms & such... as well as a few nastily judgemental claims abuot his character and that of his new wife, for sure!

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