Is it a matter of her wanting the extra time with the kids instead of having a step-parent get the time? Are you flexible in any other matters? Meaning if someone needs a later drop-off or pick-up is it something easily planned or does that never happen or a pain? Is she paying for the daycare, and are you paying a portion? Would it increase the costs if your wife doesn't pick up the kids? Is it a control issue or is there a reasonable explanation? I'm just thinking about reasons WHY your ex would not be willing to work together in the manner of letting your wife pick up kids... I don't remember any specific times that my ex's wife picked up our son, there were several times that she would drop him off but I wouldn't have a problem with it unless it was interfering or making something more difficult with my family.