Well, sadly, I am a foolish woman. You see, my ex and I had a baby, (unmarried) and we raised her together until she was two. Then, I finally left (as he was physically abusive) and we had a long drawn out knock out of a fight which resulted in me having primary placement, and a restraining order on him until our daughhter was 4. Well, my ex went through court ordered anger management, and when he could talk to me again, he used our daughter as a reason why we should "Give it one more shot". And me, being foolish, young, and stupid, agreed. We got back together, he immediately wanted a baby.. and I became pregnant within the year. Then, all the old habits began to set it, and he hit me-- once-- and I was out the door, 8 weeks pregnant. We have had shared placement of our eldest per court order, but our youngest, we have just followed the same rules .... we wouldn't seperate the children. 8 months of sharing both children, and I get an oppertunity to move and take a scholarship at a great school across country (this is for grad school mind you, and scholarships for my line of study are rare and few and far between), and my hubby got a job offer so I wouldnt be alone. I asked the ex if I could take the kids, he said "yes" and the day I am ready to go... he refuses. He says he changed his mind, and wants the school year to be done. I said that was fine, it was only for about a month. We agreed that I would come back to see them (And I have, twice).
And now this. Im in a precarious situation... I have to admit, I am in an odd place. My ex is a good father, despite being a terrible partner. I dont want to just go out there and snatch the kids, but at the same time, I dont want to not see my children. He has pettioned the courts to have sole custody and placement, which I am terrified of him getting. If he is so resentful of me, how can he be trusted to uphold a court order?
I know this is all very personal and likely tmi, but it give you a better insight to the situation.
*And for the record, while I have been gone 6 weeks, I have flown back twice, now planning my third trip for next week. I also have dished out 1500 to him for CS, and spent an additional 500 on the kids clothes/food/diapers etc. when I was out there. I even went as far to pay his cell phone bill because he claimed he was going to get it turned off-- And Its my only way of contanting my eldest everyday to talk. So I didnt just dissapear*
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I can't live within you-- David Bowie
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