Divorce Support Forums: Trying to secretly plan a divorce

It's highly unlikely that after a 3 year marriage she COULD fleece you. Why do you think she could? IF it's just wacked-out stuff like celebrity divorces where 3 years gets them a million dollars a eyar for life... well, remember that those situations are very odd.

Unless you're dealing with a mentally ill wife, secrecy is bound to cause more trouble than finding a way to do it up front. let us know what's up and maybe we can help... but beware, if you're looking to cheat her somehow (it's tough to do with just a 3 year marriage, from EITEHR side)... any advice you get on how to do it will probsably be either illegal or ill adviced as a tactic... these kinds of tactics usually result in more expensive litigation than the property was worth in the first place.

Give us a few more details about why you are worried about getting fleeced, and we might be able to help. I suspect eh best help we'll be is to let you know taht some of your concerns are unwarranted and a better tactic to address them would NOT be secrecy and tactics, but rather proper negotiation adn ...

well, consulting an attorney. If you were to really read the books you need in order to properly learn how to initiate and present your case... it'd be 3 years post college study at an accredited law school, and for a situation where you have a realistic worry about being fleeced after only 3 years, the amount of experience you'd need is at least 5 years in doing divorce work... your marriage will be triple or quadruple the length it is by the time you finish getting ready to represent yourself, and by that time you'll understand why even LAWYERS don't represent themselves in thier own divorces.

If I were you, I'd recognize that the amount of money i'm worried about being fleeced over is worth consulting a good lawyer about. NOT a SHARK lawyer who promises the sun, moon & stars with fun & interesting tactics to legally browbeat your wife (or her lawyer) into submission, but rather a GOOD attorney with a reputation as being above board, knowledgeabel and able to get the job done without excessive fees. Check around, find one, and don't be afraid fo paying for an hour's worth of their services to give you some reliable advice on whether or not you nave anything to be worreid about in the first place... and what you need to do to prepare fo the possiibility of nasty litigation in the second place.

If you end up needing a lawyer to protect your assets, it's a question of whether those assets ar eworth it to you. YES, the lawyer will be expensive and you'll have less than you wen tinto it with... BUT... the alternative might be to lose altogehter... And remember, marrying the wrong person is what got you into this... NOT the lawyer. The lawyer is trying to straighten out a situation you got yourself into... and it might be expensive. Why in the WORLD people think they can save a few bucks by getting themselves out of thier own messes... and be more effective at getting OUT of the marraige than they were at choosing who to get INTO the marriage with... I'll neve rknow.

But for now, just find someone good and pay for an hour's worth of their sevices...

PLUS...

Tell us what it is that makes you think you'll lose your shirt after just 3 years. If you've been reading stories of others who got fleeced... if YOU got fleeced after a previous long term marriage, please remember, just 3 years isn't enough time to fleece you in nearly ANY jurisdiction in nearly ANY circumstances. I suppose there would be some, and if you have those circumstances you can let us konw. But mostly... what you've described does not warrant the nastiness that secrecy creates. By being secret you may be making it worse than it ever woudl be on it's onw... but let us know. Maybe there's something really awful that would change my mind about this.

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