Ussually when people post to preventing that is what they really want to do.
My impression is that you and your husband are building a huge wall between each other (cliched yes, but its the best I can do and it fits). If you want to prevent, then both of you have to stop blaming the other. Regardless of the merit of your position, to "prevent" you will have to treat the problems in your marriage as shared, not as his or yours and obviously he will have to do the same.
You say that you don't think counseling will do any good at this point. That implies to me that you haven't tried yet (otherwise you would have said "We've tried ..."). While the stakes may not be financial, they are emotional, and not just for the two of you, but for your kids too.
Given that you have kids and they care about their dad (even if its through blatent bribery), you should treat divorce as a last resort.
I hate it when I see two divorced parents at a sport or school function that can't even talk to each other, you can just feel that the focus is more on the tension between the parents then it is on the kid's activity, and unfortunately that appears to be more the norm in divorce, especially if there are unresolved anger issues going into it.