Unlike child support, spousal support is often very difficult (if not impossible) to modify after the divorce is final, so getting it right the first time is a must!
I'm not sure what you want to do. Do you want to file a motion for spousal support? An equal division of assets? Are there children involved? You mention "legal custodianship". Not sure what you are referring to. As to the problem of legal representation when neither party has any funds, it is not uncommon. In my county, the family court has legal advisers and para-legals who assist litigants in preparing their cases. Your county may have that as well. If not, call the county and ask what a person is supposed to do. They may even hold classes. And yes, sometimes, judges can seem to be very unreasonable and more interested in keeping the case load moving along than in justice.