Divorce Support Forums: deeply depressed-I don't want this divorce

Hi-I'm new here to this forum. My husband & I have been married almost 8 years, we have a 2 kids(1 1/2 & 5) and he has a son from a previous marriage that's 11. I love him immensely and am willing to do anything to make our marriage work. I've begged him to go to counseling but he refuses because I didn't want to go a year ago when he wanted to. At that time I was feeling frustrated in our marriage & we had been to one counselor that I didn't like & I really should have agreed to go & we should have found another counselor. But, over time, things seemed to get better & actually our intimacy level got better than it had been in a long time. We also went out togethter and were enjoying each others company again. Then he started acting weird about our finances and wanted to split our checking accounts up-he thought that would help-I didn't see how that would help & i got angry. Anyway, it spiraled down hill and he decided all of a sudden he was "DONE." He moved to his mom & dad's the end of April. I'm still not 100% convinced this is what he wants even though I got served papers this week. He said he did that because it's what I wanted. I have cried every day-sometimes I feel like I can't even get through the next minute!! I love him & cannot imagine life without him!! We have had a rough year due to our daughter being sick & in the hospital, as well as, me being sick and in the hospital. I think we both just got overly stressed out. I can't imagine why he would just want to walk away from our marriage. Anyone that knows us will say the same thing. I'm having a very hard time coping!! Please help! How do you start to move on? How do I get through the pain of missing him? I can't even get angry because it just hurts so bad!!

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