Eiram - Im sorry you went through so much. I know it sounds funny considering your situation, but you are very lucky. Alot of times no matter how detrimental a parent is, the courts still enforce that parent seeing the child because they want to keep families "together". Yes there are people that do change but I think they should have to change before any contact is allowed. If they dont make the effort then their relationship with the child is not really that important to them. Alot of times these abusers dont really want to see the kids but get off on the fact that they have that power to instill fear.