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As we all know there are good days and bad. Today is a bad one - I'm literally holding myself back from calling him and yelling uncontrolably about how he's ruined my life, blah blah blah. So I figured I'd post here instead. I haven't had any communication other than via email about paperwork in almost 2 weeks and thought I was doing great. I got an email on Monday about aquiring a copy of our marriage certificate and at the end was "How are you and the pets doing?" I almost threw my computer out the window. But I responded with a simple: "We're fine. Please forward the paperwork when you get it..."
My therapist says I need to prepare myself for what he's going to do when I'm away at the end of July. I didn't quite get it until he explained that every time I leave town (even after separated) he does something crazy, whether subconsciously or not. In February I went to Costa Rica with friends, and he relapsed and lost his job. We separated a month later. Since separation I've left town twice for work - the first time he crashed his car, the second he slept with another woman. There's some odd comfort in the fact that I'm at least a factor in his actions, albeit a negative one. So now I'm all paranoid about what's left he can do to me. How can it get any worse?!
I guess I'm just looking for a few words of support, what you guys do with yourselves when you're feeling like this, etc.
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Just a rough day....
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