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On the upside, the test this AM was negative. So I will chalk it all up to stress.
Listening to all of you made me think a lot this AM too. Maybe I am trying to hold on to something that just isn't there. I've wanted rid of him for a couple of years now. Just a lot of different reasons but we just don't mesh. So why can't I embrace the opportunity I have to get rid of him? Instead I am holding on and letting him get away with it all.
I feel like if I just keep telling myself and everyone around me that I am ok and all is well that it will be. And that worked great for a few days. But it just hit me today that I'm really not ok.
I obviously can't talk to my BF about my problem because she is part of it. So there really isn't anyone to talk to that understands my problem. Heck. I don't even understand it all. But thanks to all of you for the great advice and the kick in the butt.