Divorce Support Forums: Is it wrong that I want to leave?

When I think back there were so many red flags that I wrote off as moods or just his personality. But I am starting to see the cycle: I say something or ask something he doesn't like, I get the silent treatment, I try to figure out what's wrong - do something to try and change his mood, he snaps and starts an argument over anything - even bringing up issues that had been closed and is totally unwilling to discuss a solution but focuses over and over on what he thinks was done to him. Then he'll come back and say he knows he's a little rough and he'll work on it. Then we make up and the cycle starts all over again.

Here’s another piece to this puzzle: His second marriage (which I thought was his first until his sister let me know that I was #3, he lied repeatedly about never being married to his children’s mother) ended supposedly because his ex wife’s family didn’t like him around his stepdaughter. He refused to go to counseling (sound familiar) with his wife because it wasn’t his problem – it was his ex-wife and her family that had issues. According to him – his ex-wife tried to kill herself because she couldn’t handle the pull between him and her family. They’d been married for five years…and a woman who according to him has no emotional /mental issues decides to kill herself? Either he’s lying about that or as I suspect she was probably experiencing some of the same stuff that I have been.

Like the title of my post says – I don’t want to work anything out …I am ready to cut my losses and work on recovery for me and my daughter. He is not a crazy person who cannot be held responsible for his actions. He chooses to control his anger and he chooses how he responds to me and my daughter, and how and when he chooses to lie. Even if he gets counseling which I hope he does, I don’t want anything to do with him. I was totally taken by his charm and the façade he presented – I foolishly let my heart decide. I am a little sad about it, a lot angry for any negative impact on my daughter, and grateful that I’m able to walk away before anything worse happens.

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