Divorce Support Forums: So disgusted! Feedback please!

Thank you all for your posts. I do appreciate the feedback.
I certainly know that I am not the only one going through this ordeal, and that many have it worse than I do. However, I do not condone men or women for that matter, that have utter disregard for their children's welfare and then wail and bemoan their problems that they have created for themselves.

Yes, NCP is a letter carrier for the United States Post office. The medical part of the CS order is not separate from the rest of the order, or at least that is what counsel has told me in this state and in WY, in shopping for an attorney there. Therefore, if one has reneged on part of the order, (medical) but is garnished (through wage withholding and assignment) for the monthly monetary amount of support to be paid, the courts may find him to be non compliant on the entire order, as I have billed him many times and asked him repeatedly (in writing with return receipt requested) to provide insurance cards and policy provisions, as well as reimbursement. Counsel I have consulted with in WY has also indicated that according to WY statutes that if party carrying the insurance does not provide the provisions to the other parent, that parent can be held in contempt and it could be potentially ordered that NCP pay all legal and court costs, as well as the other costs. I do have well documented receipts of the children's medical cares, dental cares, etc, that I have billed him for many times. I also have copies of all documentation that has transpired between us throughout the years.

Perhaps waiting for 12 years was a mistake. However, I have always provided for my children. NCP's own yearly whining and written empty threats threw me over the edge one year and that is when I started this process. I absolutely will not allow him to take an exemption on the kids as according to the IRS, I would be nuts to do this. I have conferred with them many times, getting more than one opinion on the matter, and they all indicate that they decide who takes the federal exemption, not state courts. My AGI is probably higher than his, I provide all of the medical (which he is supposed to do), and I provide more than half of their yearly support. He has not exercised visitation in over 8 years. I simply will not let the children go with him willy nilly into an environment that I know nothing about as he indicates that he plans to pick them up and leave the state. They are now age 13.....not age 4, going on age 5, which is what age they were when we relocated from WY. He has not bothered to send them a birthday card or even a Christmas gift, but sure does whine about that tax exemption every year since his monetary support arrears cleared, which was only a few years ago. I have also noticed that he has not filed any sort of contempt charges with this issue, although he has threatened to on many occasions. (The only time he did file a motion to show cause, was recently after proceedings began in this state and he was served interstate...and even then, his lawyer, did not bother to serve me. I learned of this motion from talking with child support enforcement.)

Other than that, his correspondence with me is usually (always) at tax time. This year was no different, I simply wrote him a letter indicating that due to the unpaid medical costs, which by the way, exceed any sort of return that he would receive should he file one of the kids, that I will not sign the IRS form 8332, which would give him permission to do so.

The lawyer here in this state advised me that I should also bill him for the premiums I have paid since obtaining my own insurance on the kids. Those premiums run me approximately $1000.00 per month. One can see on the website for postal workers (they all pretty much use National Association of Letter Carriers in Ashburn VA) that family coverage for him (to cover himself and his two children) that cost would be only $170.00 per month.

Child support enforcement in WY indicates that they NEVER intercede on medical bills that are private...and not cares rendered by the state. Again, this seems unfair, as I paid my dues to once have child support enforcement enforce this case, which they do charge if one is not on state assistance. They can intercede however on a contempt charge of failure to provide the insurance cards and provisions. So if that can be done with CS enforcement, it stands to reason, it can be done with a private attorney. Over the years, I have paid exorbitant attorney costs and I guess I am not through yet.

My 2 youngest children are in need of costly orthodontics etc..for medical reasons, not cosmetic. (one child fares a little worse than the other child in respect to dental.)

I do not give up easily, as I solely advocate for all four of my children. I have raised four alone for many years.

Kids are starting to figure this out...they are not stupid. Sad indeed.

Again, thank you for your feedback.

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