Divorce Support Forums: She lies

Consider yourself extremely lucky to have custody. You will need to do everything perfectly to keep it. Begin counseling with someone that can verify your parenting skills, many counselors wont get involved in court, others will. Take the kids to the counselor so they see you involved. Be careful of female counselors with an ax to grind, many are divorced and took it up so they could continue to criticize someone and get paid for it after the hubby fled. Do not take a custody eval until she forces you to. This way you will have a professional that can testify for you and when you pass the custody eval you cannot be accused of rehearsing. Ask the counselor how to prepare for the eval when she motions for it. have the counselor suggest you take a drug test at some random time every three months. This insures it's random. $150 proves you're clean. Keep up play dates with the kids, scouting, socialization. Get together as much as possible with other parents as you will need witnesses. Keep detailed calendar, a big chart on activities, visitations, he calls, etc. Take happy pictures at the activities. Collect your best stuff and make a presentation that shows your involvement since day one. Forty pictures and three witnesses and easy to understand charts and calendar and timeline and the judge will get the picture. Let her spew fire, bury your feelings and just be concerned for the environment she can't provide. Your lawyer won't do all that work for you but can use it all if you do.

How can she is easy. She is an irresponsible lying wh0re, what do you expect? +1 Stoltz=You are the enemy. She wants to get rid of you and keep everything. In order to do that she will to destroy you as a father. You don't need want or deserve the children or a roof over your head or any of her earnings. This extremism will actually work in your favor making her appear unreasonable to the judge, and maybe even to her lawyer. Be prepared to take a lot of incoming it will get much worse with one like that, and it won't stop after the final hearing either. Maybe she suddenly changed, but I'll bet if you really look back honestly there were some doubts that you chose to ignore, and it probably couldn't have turned out any other way with what you now see clearly. Don't do that again in the future, leopards don't change their spots.

Sometimes someone will tell a lie that is so outrageous that reasonable people will beleive it. They will think that it is so outrageous that nobody would make that up, or that it must be true and they just don't understand why or how. It is infuriating and disheartening to the victim. One thing that helped me from breaking down sometimes when she spoke such lies or sat nodding while her lawyer did was to remember to be strong and stay cool for the kids. You are protecting them. Just like you've taken on the chin for them in the past you have a few more rounds to go to shield them from her hurtful fury. Thank God you have custody and hang in there, if you break the kids get exposed to harm. It can be gratifying seeing her get caught in a lie on the witness stand, until you realize that the judge forgives a woman four or five lies before viewing her entire testimony as unreliable. Just keep your eye on the end result and roll with the punches.

The good: Only seven years, you have the kids, you contributed to her dental degree she'll have to pay you long term back for that. You have custody, you will get CS, she won't be able to alienate them. You have the house and she is out. There are a lot of things that a dad never gets that you have going so you can't make any mistakes. The only bad thing I can see is if she gets a lawyer that decides to play her for $$ and drags it out and drags you through the mud. That will cost you @ $45 per fax & $300 hr. Do you like your lawyer?, good legal help is hard to get.

Take care, read some of my early posts if you want to know what other kinds of lies to expect, sometimes it helps knowing what to expect.

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