Marriage takes work, you guys are young, but you can't "start over" with kids. That doesn't mean one or both of you can't mature and find a healthy happy relationship with someone else, but you will always have an emotional connection to your husband.
Books are nice but they can only get you so far, they are written for general consumption, people have specific needs and issues that no pop-psycology book can address. Anyway here is another generalization for you: It is your choice who you love. You have control over it. Soul mates are made not found. If you are lucky enough to gain the self-confidence to truly be in love with someone why shouldn't it be with the father of your children?
What I am getting at, if you respect your husband, he is not abusive and he respects you and is not abusive towards you, then you need to figure out that your hapiness, feelings of love etc. are not dependant on some "perfect match" out there, they are dependant on your maturity (and his).
Marriage is a committment, and with kids it becomes a responsibility, in abusive households, the responsibility is to protect your kids and get out. In "gee I wonder if there is something better out there" households the responsibility is to show your kids that they have the tools they need to be happy, but it will take some hard work. Don't "fake it", "live it". I think most of the divorced people around here will tell you, that working for a healthy marriage is better then divorce.
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