Divorce Support Forums: ex refused support, after 4 years wants support

There were a lot of things going on. I was having a lot of problems with my eldest, she was acting out b/c of all the attention and fighting over her sister (my eldest was from my HS sweetheart-no marriage). My ex went through unnecessary actions to alienate me and my child, every time I'd pick her up, she'd tell me she hated me, she wanted to live w/her dad, she would strike me, all the while he stood there w/his Bud in his hand, smiling and loving every minute of it. In the time it took me to get her back to normal...it was time for another visit. My ex went above and beyond, even his new wife later admitted how many times they were in the lawyer's office with new schemes on how to get custody. When I met my new hubby, opp. came for him w/in the fire serv. and school up North. I was so exhausted from the fighting, emotionally whipped from my child, and feeling guilt for the neglect the oldest was feeling, that when the time came to make a decision and after phone calls and phone calls of threats, we sat down w/my child and asked her what she wanted. She wanted to stay w/her dad, so we obliged and it killed me. That move proved to be the best thing for my eldest, she is still up North and is thankful for the move. My child in question has a totally diff. view NOW, and understands what, and why and has regrets, none of which are her fault and I tell her that regularly. Do I have regrets? Yes and No...I can make a case either way. That's why I can't judge, everyone has that breaking point and I was at mine after 5 years of my ex's crap. Does that make me a bad person...some may say so, but it wasn't fair to my eldest either and with limited funds, one can only do so much legally to stop harassing, obsessed exes. Mia has played martyr for her dad and as she matures and comes in to her own, her relationship will change, it’s already starting to. My relationship w/ her is actually stronger than it’s ever been.

I understand everyone’s view. Mia refuses to wear anything they buy her, to the extent that they offered to give me money to help buy her clothes….makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it?, for people who are seeking child support. I see it as Mia acting out, so whether I pay $200 or $400 a month, my buying clothes/shoes etc. for her is important to HER and I will continue to do it. If I have to file bankruptcy on all of my bills to give my ex his money and take care of my daughter, than so be it, my husband and I already discussed our options.

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Seize the day. Remember all of those women on the Titanic who waved off the desert cart. E. Bombeck

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