My husband moved to an apartment that my son refers to as the "Beach Hotel" almost two weeks ago. About three months ago he told me he was depressed, and didn't know if he wanted to stay. He said it had nothing to do with me. What he described was a textbook case of a mid-life crisis. During the time he made his declaration and he actually left, it clearly shifted to be our relationship as the cause of his issues. I can't say it's been a perfect marriage...he has had almost no libido, and has made little effort to provide any emotional support as I deal with a serious chronic illness. I will admit it took a lot of my energy to keep my job and deal with my illness for the past 6 years. I think I didn't realize that he was depressed---I thought he was just being a jerk. I'm still not sure where depression begins and meets up with jerk. Probably when he refused any treatment for the depression that was diagnosed in his single therapy visit.
So, as sit here admist the wadded tissues since he just picked up the kids for a weekend out of town, I am trying to put it all into perspective. Was there something I could have done differently? Will he come to his senses and realize what he left (I am a damn fine woman!) Do I even want him to, or am I just grieving for what I though the relationship could be? And, does it get any easier....and if it does, when the hell does it?
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Still reeling..............
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