Divorce Support Forums: 2 0r 20

I am by no means belittling your feelings but I just wanted to provide the perspective of children in this instance.

My parents divorced when I was 3 and I never lived with my dad from that day forward. His visitation with us was VERY sporadic because he had a job that required him to travel all over the globe for months at a time. So when we did get time with him it was usually a week or two away to visit his family or a trip somewhere. My mom used to call my dad a Disneyland dad and she was very envious of the trips he could take us on. As a kid I just wanted to spend time with my dad. He is half of me and I wanted to know him and love him and be with him - even though some of his actions were deplorable. He treated my mom like crap a lot of the time - they both antagonise one another terribly. But he was my DAD and I just wanted to be with him - I could forgive anything just to spend a weekend with a man that contributed half of my DNA but that I only saw 2-4 times a year.

Please don't take your children's willingness to forgive a parent for nearly anything as a personal slight - it's not. It's just the actions of a vulnerable person trying to find love and acceptance in a place where there may be little to none.

I know how much it hurts - it hurt my mom too - but just remember to tell yourself that you are home to them and he can be Disneyland - home is a VERY important place to children - even adult children. I think you deserve a pat on the back for raising children that can forgive and love someone who has slighted them in the biggest way - that is no easy feat in our world!

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He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still. ~ Lau Tzu

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