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First, you need to stop telling your children too much. This includes the 18 year old. I suggest that you apologize to your 16 year old for talking too much about the divorce. It's okay to admit to your child that you are human and make mistakes.
Second, a no contact (with kids, it is limited contact about the kids only)rule is a lifesaver. If the conversation strays from the kids, end it.
Have you considered therapy to help you deal with what is going on?