Divorce Support Forums: My Wife Wants Both Cars

If you're saying that you were a poor graduate student when you met her, that she used her assets to pay off your debts and you never did find work to help out ... then I understand why she wanted to keep your car hostage in exchange for you reimbursing her for what she spend to pay off your car and credit cards.

On the other hand, if the debts paid off were incurred by both of you, if the condo was not her asset to begin with and all she's saying is that seh thinks it's unfair that you never contributed because you were in school the whole marriage so she took the car becasue she's of the opinion that since she was the only one working, she is the only one who should get any property that the two of you accumulated ... well... she's being ridiculous.

We can't possibly know what's fair without knowing the whole thing... when was teh condo purchased, when were the cars purchased, how much is each worth. How much credit card debt was there and when were those incurred. And did she pay anything for your degree program (other than household expenses because you were not earning a living while you were in school)?

How long ago did you get your degree? Why did the two of you move to Ga?

I know that when you graduate school, it's daunting to have a ton of loans, but that's kind of part of the deal... your school is a bad financial deal if it does not provide enough of a financial boost in your career to make up for the debt you incurred to get the education. If she came into the marriage with assets and you did not, and she felt comfortable with paid off debt to start from scratch, then that would have been a great deal for the two of you if you'd stayed together, but it's REALLY unfair for her to have paid off your living expenses and car loans & stuff, if it made it possible for YOU to take advantage of your wonderful new degree at a time when you and she are no longer togethe rand SHE does not get any advantage of that wondeful new education. No matter what the law says, if you think like this, is it FAIR for you to have to pay her back for some of the stuff that was paid off during the marriage? If so, then it's the RIGHT thing for you to do, to pay her back... even if that means you'll be in debt... because like I said, most graduate students end up school with quite a bit of debt. That's the way it works... and if you're the kind of guy who would walk away from a marriage all happy that his ex paid off his debt and not willing to own up to it and pay her back... well, that tells people AND it tells yourself something about what kind of person you are.

On the other hand, if you do some soul searching about this and it turns out that she's just angry because you never supported her and she doesn't want to share anything that the two of you accomplished in those three years... well... then you would be perfectly reasonable to want at least your car back! at LEAST.

Only you know the numbers and only you know what really feels fair. If you are HOPING for "fair" to be one thing, but you know deep down that it's not.... well, follow your heart. Or ask us.

But give us more details & we'll let you know.

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