Thats exactly what Im trying to make clear the thing is if I force him to take one so he can see the other he is going to treat my oldest badly (the reason I left in the first place) when he brought them back Monday he comlpained about how bad and isolated my oldest was. shes been very withdrawn since my youngest told her that daddy only wanted her to live with him and she was supposed to tell the councelor that. she doesnt understand why she isnt wanted. I dont want him to not see the kids but I dont want my oldest to feel unwanted and depressed.