Divorce Support Forums: his step-mom makes me want to pull my hair out

I agree with Starion, who is saying what I've tried to say before. When you re-negotiate your support amount, you should try to get rid of these weird clauses. They are messing with your mind, and THEIR minds... and even though I've heard people saying they wanted to pay specific things on thier own in lieu of support so the KID knew that the parent was spending money on the kid, in THIS situation, it's not like the money being spent is going to impress the kid as being a good investment in his wardrobe! I mean, if Dad was saying, I spend AT LEAST $150 per year on clothing for the kid... and then was saying to the kid, "hey, I only have to spend $150 per year on clothes for you but look at how great I am, spending $300 this year for you"... then maybe... but if you say the guy is supposed to buy 1 pair of shoes and 2 pairs of jeans... and it's for giving them the chance to be thrifty with the clothing rather than paying support... then you're going to get the thrift shop stuff if they can manage to slide it past you... the ill-fitting crap from the kids' husky department rather than adult clothing, and stuff like that.

It's not good when people start making these out-of-the-ordinary agreements. Almost never is it a good thing. Maybe if he was in private school and Dad paid for the uniforms... and a proportionate share of tuition.. .then MAYBE... but specifying 2 pairs of shoes, a pair of jeans, a shirt & shorts... that's just ... ripe for abuse of the concept.

But don't blame it all on step-mom. You used to be married to the guy. Is he a cheapskate? He was the idiot who adopted all her kids rather than makign their dads pay for thier support... to the detriment of his own birth children. I'd suspect he's given her a budget and she's trying to do her best within it... and her try to get by with sending husky pants is the best she can do.

It sounds like she may be between a rock & a hard place, and maybe even more ready to pull HER hair out than you're ready to pull yours. Give HER a break... it's his Dad who is responsible for this duty and it sounds like you're blaming the outcome on the stepmom, when ... well, even is stepmom was ruling the roost up there, he's the Dad and it's HIS responsibility to step up and resolve this in his birth childrens' best interest.

Which he has not done.

your best bet is to remove these clauses from the child support and take cash rather than clothing "in lieu of"

Post Extras