Divorce Support Forums: Does this sound like a reasonable settlement?

It has been a while, but I thought I would revive this thread due to it containing some history about my situation.

I have put a hold on the mediation process because as we get close to agreeing on a plan that will spell out a significant part of my life for a long time to come, I start feeling differently about things. What is comming up is just a flat out resistance to what feels like staying married. My wife wants out of every aspect of the marriage except for the sharing income and current assets part. I know many people in my position complain about the same thing, but the law is the law. One way or another I am accountable for making sure she is getting the financial benefits of being my wife even if she is not. So, my job is to figure out how to do this in a way that I can live with. I am thinking I might be happiest in the long run if I can just buy her out.

If we were still married and I wanted to quit my construction business and go back to school or something, I would be able to do that. Now I am in a situation that my business is not something I really want to continue. It served me well in providing for my family. That was my only reason for having this business. Now the family is gone. My daughter and son both have their education taken care of.

Financially, we have 2 houses, and about 500K in retirement. 2005-2007 My income averaged 225K per year. The economy in construction is so bad now that this year looks like it will be about 60K. If the court were to base alimony on the 2005-2007 earnings, we would split assets and I would be paying alimony of about 82K per year for about 12 years. So, to buy her out, theoretically I would need to give her all the assets, and still be forced to at least try my best to earn enough money to pay some amount of alimony. I am sure the court would take into consideration my fluctuating income due to being in an up and down business.

Now to get to the point: Am I held hostage by my marriage? :) It gets back to the point I made earlier about in the marraige I was allowed to change careers, go back to school, or just plain retire now if we just wanted to live modestly. I know the courts would frown upon me dropping out just to avoid alimony, but that is not the issue. I honestly just do not want to have to stay in the construction business anymore. I want to be free to take up a new life if I want. I would be happy living on much less than "maintaining the standard of living" as the court puts it, and doing volunteer work for a good cause. Maybe I would like to scale back and do 1/2 and 1/2. What are my options here? If I want to change my livelyhood in this way what is the court likely to say it will cost me? I am doubting the court would say I can't change my career now that my wife left me. I mean its not unreasonable...people get in their 50s, kids are grown, life is reassesed (my wife sure reassesed hers)values change and we change our lives accordingly. My wife is aggreeable to me making less and reducing alimony even if we split the assets 50-50 because she knows the business can fluctuate. I doubt she would be aggreable though to a 50-50 split if I don't want to keep the business.

thanks

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