Divorce Support Forums: Does this sound like a reasonable settlement?

"My wife wants out of every aspect of the marriage except for the sharing income and current assets part. "
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Umm, this is normal. This is what divorce is about. Some divorced couples are able to remain friends afterwards, many cannot. She wants to be rid of you and still get supported. I'm afraid there is nothing you can do to change that.

"One way or another I am accountable for making sure she is getting the financial benefits of being my wife even if she is not. So, my job is to figure out how to do this in a way that I can live with."
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That's a odd way of saying it. However, it's not "your job" but the court's job, to find an amount. They will listen to input and testimony from both parties.

"If the court were to base alimony on the 2005-2007 earnings, we would split assets and I would be paying alimony of about 82K per year for about 12 years. So, to buy her out, theoretically I would need to give her all the assets, and still be forced to at least try my best to earn enough money to pay some amount of alimony. I am sure the court would take into consideration my fluctuating income due to being in an up and down business.
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Not so sure I agree with this. The court MAY take into acct. that your income has been reduced involuntarily. But they don't HAVE TO. You need to convince them with excellent arguments. Yo could consider a "buy out" option in lieu of lifetime alimony. She gets half of everything now anyway. So all you can give away is some of your half.

"Am I held hostage by my marriage? "
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Well, perhaps. She could easily insist on half of everything your both own, including the business and lifetime alimony. And the courts would not consider that unreasonable. BTW, 82K for 12 yrs. is nearly a million bucks. You got that to give her? From your half? The court doesn't care if you want to quit your occupation and do something else. They only care if you disobey a court order, like a spousal support order. How you get the money to pay your STBX her support is your problem. IMO, you need a good attorney IF your STBX will not work with you re: your after divorce lives and what you both want.

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