Your kids do have a NORMAL family. The divorce will actually allow for greater stability in their lives than a crap disrespectful marriage. Heck -- as a kid, my life did not make sense UNTIL my folks got divorced.
Him ... wake up??? Sorry ... not going to happen. He is done. He has moved on. It has been YEARS. Time to let go.
Now if you are not ready to date ... that is fine. Holding out for someone who does not want to be married to you, who has already divorced you, has MOVED ON beyond you .... that is not healthy for YOU or the KIDS.
-------------------- Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
Dr. Seuss