I have a slightly similar situation (has not been going on as long). If you get any replies, would you be willing to share?
I'm not penniless, but not doing great financially. I am calling an attorney today to file for divorce because clearly that is the only LEGAL way I can get the leech out of my life.
If your husband is abusive, you can file for a restraining order and then using that information file for exclusive posession of the marital property (even if jointly owned) pending a divorce settlement. I hear lots of people do this even when there is no abuse, so I don't recommend that unless the abuse is real, and it sounds like yours is.