the only way to keep him out of your child's life is to remarry and ask him to sign a release of parental rights for adoption. unfortunately, that's a terrible reason to marry someone. another unfortunate thing is that this is what men do. the selfishness extends beyond a mother's realm of understanding. when they feel they want to "see my kid" after months or years we don't have the right to act in the best interest of the child we've been raising w/out his help, without having to file SOMETHING with the court. i know that doesn't help, but maybe you can contact your family law division at your local courthouse.