It sounds like your marriage is salvagable. Don't make the mistake all too many couples make and give up too early! Check out this website: http://www.nationalmarriage.com/. Look into their "Intensives" counseling. It's not your typical 'meet with a counselor once a week' counseling. most people attend with the last ditch "this isn't going to work, but I'll go so I can say I tried everything" attitude, but the success rate of keeping couples together is in the 90% range. My husband left me and refused to try anything, but I am convinced that if I could have gotten him to attend one of these intensives our marriage could have been saved. It's a little expensive, but she's worth it. Don't wait until the divorce is over, do everything you can to fight the divorce. If your wife knows how desperately you are fighting for her she may be willing to consider going with you to an intensive. Do the research and ask her to think about going at your dinner date. Whatever you do, don't give up on her or your marriage! Good luck!!!