This has to be the hardest thing--I think the worst is that his unit--the guys in it--have been my family for the past seven years--most of them are taken our split as hard as we are--or as I am--it has shocked most of them--I am having to go from volunteering full time as their family readiness group leader for the past three years to trying to find a job--and facing these emotional days--sometimes it gets hard to breathe--but I am making it--I try to figure out why he has changed so much--I think it was the combat experience but I hate to lay it all on that you know--it helps to have this forum...I appreciate the feedback..