Divorce Support Forums: Unsure what to do next

I've been married 10 years and moved to Wisconsin 5 years ago because my husband wanted to be near his family. The only job I could find pays me about half what I made before moving here. My husband is in sales and travels alot. Over the last 5 years, I feel like I have had to build a life for myself separate from him because, when he is not out of town on business, he is gone hunting or fishing or spending time with his family. He has seldom wanted to spend time with me alone which is different from the time before we moved here. Even though I feel like I've made a great sacrifice so that he could be near his family, I don't think it matters to him. Now that he should have everything he wants, he isn't happy but says that I am to blame because I'm no longer fun, I'm unhappy and I don't like to do the things he likes to do. He blames my unhappiness on being away from my hometown but I am unhappy because he has been selfish and mostly just thought about his own needs since we've lived here. Honestly, I haven't been able to do anything right. Either I've done something wrong or I've failed to do something. In either case, if that is true, it was unintentional. He has not been a friend or companion to me in a very long time.

Now he says that he can't live in the same house with me. I've suggested counseling which got struck down. I've tried to express my feelings and take some of the blame for our problems and have even asked for another chance but have been denied. He says our marriage can't be fixed. He was suprised when I told him that I did want the house when he asked. It is not that I plan to continue living here but I do feel that I can't just walk off and leave everything to him--I actually think he thought I would. I would be can't afford to. I will be out of a job once I leave. Plus, I have multiple sclerosis and being without health insurance scares me. I told him that if he intends to divorce me I will let him go. However, I think he wants to place even that burden on my shoulders. I don't want to be the one to file since 1) I'm not the one who wants the divorce 2) my religious beliefs are that I can only divorce him if he has been unfaithful and he says there is no one else. (But, maybe there has been, who knows?) Should I just wait this out and let me eventually do what he needs to do? Or, would it be in my best interests to file first? He is the type of person who cares about his image so I'm sure he would rather have me file so he doesn't look bad in the eyes of his family and friends. I don't care so much about that but I'm afraid I will always doubt my decision if I don't let him make the move. At least if he files first, I will know without a doubt there is no hope. (I know I'm naive to think this is something he'll have a change of heart about but can't help it.) Still, I want to do what is best for my financial future. Any advice?

Post Extras