Divorce Support Forums: Unsure what to do next

You have almost discribed my marriage. Maybe our husbands hunt and fish together. I found this site while trying to get divorce advice from a lawyer, but this has lots of help. I can't say I have an answer for you because I have spent the last 7 MONTHS living in the same house with my stbx and not speaking. This has been brutal. 23 yrs of marriage and this is how it ends. 2 years ago the same thing, 6 months of silance and then HE FILED and like a coward, gave me the papers and left for a 3 week trip. He came and pleaded 1 month later, crying that he made a mistake and God SPOKE to him and revealed how wrong he has been--BLAH BLAH. I, with much hesitation and pondering did go back. I put a hold, and then an extention on the divorce for 6 months. We went back to counsoling and he even went on medication for anxiety. I thought we might have a chance this time. UNTIL, he wants to do what he wants Fishing, hunting, just about anything without me.

We did LOTS of counsoling and it never helped. Not for long. Why? I do not know. It was HIM that was unhappy. distant, cold, disrespectful,mean, grumpy, unloving and uncaring and just not into me. We have 2 children which kept me busy and my mind off it now and then.

I too, am a Christian and feel like you about not wanting to file, because of any ray of hope and no known affair on his part. We know what God expects, and if we do the right thing we will have bleesings. Living with someone you KNOW does NOT LOVE YOU is brutal< On your mind and spirit and selfesteem>. I know. I live this. He can go months without talking and sleep like a baby. They are SELFISH MEN, and will NOT CHANGE. I say never stop praying and asking God for the right words and then GO AND TALK and FIND THE TRUTH!!. It will be hard to hear and it will hurt, but do not do as I have and SIT AND WAIT. For what? Another year? He had MY BEST years and didn't appreciate any of them.

We lived the American dream and he was still unhappy--with me, the kids. Maybe these types of men are just better off alone. Go and get all the cards on the table and then tell HIM to file. Get yourself a GOOD LAWYER. I felt like you too, should I be the first to file so it looks better. I only care what God thinks and I know He wants me to stay faithful and let him file if he wants out. Just get the truth. If your husband rejected any chance to work things out then you need to ask him to file. You can walk away knowing you did all you could and have peace in that with you and God. God will lead the way for you. I know he is helping me through this time and every time. I would be insane by now without God's help.
The worst is that you will think you did something to cause this. You know in your heart you didn't. Keep yourself healthy and get all the info you can, so you are not taken advantage of more. This sucks! I going down the same path. Don't turn 10 yrs. into 23 and be where I am, feeling beat down and unworthy. Now I have to try and gain myself back. I pray you will find the truth out so you can go in peace. God Bless you.

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