Sounds to me like hireing a lawyer would be the best thing to do. It's sad when one parent has to bring the other parent down just to satisfy themselves. Kids are so vulnarable to being guilted-out by their parents especially. It's certainly not healthy and it's definately not good for their mental well being as you well know with having to deal with a potentially suicidal son. I would highly recommend some sort of counseling for you and the boys so all of you can somehow cope with what your ex is putting them and you through. I suspect she isnt going to change her ways and she will continue to tell them things that either arent true or that really dont need to be said to them. So in order to deal with that and help them figure things out as far as what she says is the truth and what she's saying out of pure spite or anger ect. a professional might be able to better help them understand better and deal with the situation. Best of luck to you and the boys!