Divorce Support Forums: Mind games

Kole, I am not an attorney and don’t give legal advice, but I have some experience in these matters, and usually suggest that men file divorce and hire an attorney only as a last resort. This is because the laws in Texas, as in most states, are heavily biased against the man in a divorce.

If your wife doesn’t have an attorney yet you may still be able to directly work it out with her, to your advantage, using some approaches I have become familiar with. Once you put a lawyer “on the clock”, and have them doing everything for you, it is surprising how quickly your retainer can be exhausted.

If you like your lawyer, and want to save some money, he may be willing to tutor you to represent yourself in all expected, “routine” matters and step in, personally, in a divorce only if needed. This is the way I did it and enjoyed receiving an education and saving money in the process. This also has the advantage of placing your wife in the position of having to spend much more on representation than you.

Bear in mind, though, that if he has already filed anything for you and is Counsel of Record then check the Rules of Civil Procedure and the Local Rules of the District Court for your "Pro Se" and "Withdrawal of Counsel" options.

If you would answer the following I may be able to think of other helpful ideas:

1. Did you file fault or no-fault? If no fault, what were the grounds?

2. What are your and your wife’s assets and how are they titled? Were they acquired before, during or after the marriage? Do you have accurate records as to the source and timing of these acquisitions? What about these same questions relative to payments, purchases, debts and liquidations of assets?

3. How long were you married?

4. Are you or your wife in the military? How long were you in?

5. Are you or your wife retired? Disabled? Drawing any kind of social security benefits?

6. Have you or your wife ever been diagnosed with mental disease? Your children?

I don’t mean to be intrusive, but if you could share with me as much as possible about these questions I could tell you all I know, from my experience, about your options. Your lawyer probably could also, but of course you are paying him and I HAVE NO FINANCIAL MOTIVATIONS.

BTW, from what you have said it sounds to me as if you may need to keep your boys away from that woman. With her strange slanders against you, she is at least demonstrating very improper behavior which might indicate a serious imbalance or disturbance .

Disclaimer: Not legal advice

Edited by jbar (02/24/07 04:49 AM)

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