Divorce Support Forums: How do I protect myself if I divorce?

JB..I'm in a somewhat similar situation except I am the wife who has not worked for almost 28 years. As you know, CA is a community property state so things will be split 50/50, I mean the sale of the house proceeds, any monies you have in the bank, 401k, etc.

If you were to give her temporary spousal support they seem to calculate it such that you take 50% of your salary, minus 40% of her income, and that is what you may end up paying in temporary spousal support. Anything over a 10 year marriage is considered long term, so you could end up paying spousal support for 10+ years, but it depends on her age, her ability to work, etc. Temporary support is not what it may end up being though, and the amount probably will change. It's best if you can agree on something between the two of you, but if not, the judge will decide. I am hoping to avoid that.

I think you can get a lawyer any time you want and that will have nothing to do with the divorce at all. My husband and I both have them, I had one first, and they are there to mainly get through the spousal support issue for us. As far as personal property in the home, the lawyers and the judge do not want to get into that, so it would be best if you could work it out with your wife. If she won't be reasonable there are all sorts of ways to divide things up. My husband pretty much is letting me have what I want, and we had to compromise on other things, like he wanted an expensive painting that we both wanted, but I am taking the dining room set, and all the things in the buffet, and he will get the painting. It worked out fine for us. We are not going to fight over the "things".

He moved out of our bedroom and has his computers, etc, in one room in the house. I have my computers, etc. in another We are not going to fight over that stuff, it just isn't worth it.

As far as your kids go, well, the one who is over 18 she will get no support for, and the one who is almost 18, well, I don't know how that works as my kids are both out of the home and are 22 and 24. My STBX's relationship with our kids will not change, nor will mine. He pays for part of medical school for our daughter and he will continue to do so.

I suggest you do a bit of research on lawyers, interview 3 or 4 and see who best fits with your needs. I liked all 4 I interviewed, but ended up with one I thought would work best with me. My STBX hired the first, most expensive one, he could find.

I don't have time to touch on much more, but if you want to talk you can always send me a message here on this forum. I'd be happy to share what I have learned so far, but I have only been in this process for about 2 months now so I'm not that much farther along than you are.

Good luck!

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"When the seasons change the snowman melts"

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