boothby, he said that i didn't 'validate' him for who he is- and that i put him down with my critical spirit, and sharp tongue.(and of course she validates him) I am not denying that these are issues I have, and am working on to be a better person- but he didn't talk to me about any of this until i discovered his affair, and he says he is too hurt, bitter and angry with me to ever get over it. Thanks for responding- I feel very much alone.