Who do the boys live with? I would just be who you are and not try and convince them to like you...your relationship is with their dad and he needs to decide how he wants to handle this...he can have a relationship with them and one with you too...they need to respect you in his life and you need to respect them in his...the X has obviously done them a lot of damage and in time they need to figure things out for themselves...how serious is your relationship...do you live together...where do your kids live? take it one day at a time and make sure your boyfriend is being fair to you too and your place in his life...