Wait till the modification of support is finished before you make a commitment. until then, keep dating him. He may be a real gem for having put up with a lazy woman all that time. If she's medically unable to get a real job, she needs to file for social security disability, and the social security people will be reviewing her disability to see if they agree with it. They're pretty tough, so if she gets approved for disability, then you can be pretty sure she IS disabled. ON the other hand, if she DOES get approved for disability, then that's income to her and maybe she'll no longer need so much in alimony, huh? If she does NOT qualify, then maybe she'll still be able to prove it to the divorce judge, because the standards are different... but still... it's going to be tougher on her & you'll know what kinds of things she's using to make that claim, because sh'll have collected the medical information for the social security disability claim.
Send a note to her in the request for information about the supoprt modification hearing, that she needs to send you a copy of her application for social security for that disability that she's claiming. THAT will get her moving, and ... well, heck if she DOES make the application and GETs it, then that's GOOD for him, OK?
Otherwise, don't you get involved. It's possible that the support obligation will continue, it's possible that it'll be reduced... don't count on anything until the court rules.
I had a similar situation. Not with the alimony, but with a man who thought he was goign to be living on half his salary for the rest of his life. When he finally got an attorney & went to court on it, it turned out that she gets a tiny amount because other things in his case were NOT as he thought they were. The moral of his story? don't assume that things will go the way they do in the movies or even on this website. Get a good lawyer, go to court, and wait to see. You might win big... you might not...
Good luck.
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