A Person to Avoid

The literature of divorce and family law includes a character called the Batterer. Sometimes unsuspecting woman marry him without a clue just how miserable he can make life.

The Batterer is the man who, though he can be extremely charming and seductive early in the relationship, later becomes angry and possessive and, worse, abusive later in the relationship.

Psychologists say that very often the Batterer fits a profile: abused as a child or a witness to child abuse, he lacks communications skills, frequently denies his own actions, and refuses to take responsibility for them. He blames others, very often his partner, but becomes very easily threatened by the possibility of her departure. The Batterer is jealous, possessive and controlling, and he becomes violent when he does not get his way. Sometimes the Batterer’s partner becomes a victim of a cycle of violence: smaller acts of abusive behavior – verbal and punching and pinching – become more and more frequent and culminate in a violent loss of control – “a good beating,” after which the Batterer is filled with apparent remorse and promises “to be better.”

In 95 percent of domestic violence situations, the man attacks the woman, and in most all of these situations, the man is a Batterer.

Police dread the Batterer because when they have to intervene in a domestic dispute, very often he will be there.

A woman married to a Batterer is married to a dangerous man.

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