The Personal Things a Divorce Lawyer Needs to Know

In a divorce action, lawyers need to know everything about their clients. Everyone has secrets and in divorce secrets have a way of percolating to the surface. In a divorce, particularly an angry contested action, nothing is sacred, or secret.

Things that even a close friend may not know — a torrid affair, for example — have an uncanny way of coming out in a divorce. The secrecy of these little tidbits — embarrassing, illegal, or wrong things that many people have done — allow people to look at others with a straight face.

With luck, these will not be launched into the cyber-world by the other spouse, or come up in a custody evaluation, or play out in the courtroom; when custody is in dispute, everybody and everything seems to be fair game. A client needs to anticipate that a secret will not remain so, and trust his lawyer with the skeletons in the closet. A lawyer need to know about any past or present illegal drug use and/or addiction issues; the use of any anti-depressants or mental health diagnoses or treatments; romantic involvements; childhood trauma, such as molestation, or a juvenile delinquency history; any income tax evasion; any unusual sex desires; any criminal acts and what the spouse knows about them spouse knows about them.

To be effective, the divorce lawyer needs to help the client properly characterize these items and not let them be used to obscure the merits of a legal position. The last place lawyer wants to hear about any of thee transgressions is from someone other than his client. Without a good rebuttal, the case may be lost.

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