Archive for August, 2006

Which of the following best describes your type of parenting?

Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006

ANSWER: I always establish clear expectations for the child and make sure he or she adheres to them. Limited reasoning with the child, he or she more or less knows what is right and wrong to avoid disciplinary action but does not always understand why.

SUGGESTION: It is suggested that you become less of an authoritative parent. This means that you should certainly continue to establish clear expectations, but your child should also have a clear understanding of why you are expecting him or her to behave in a certain manner. “Because” or “I said so” is not a good enough reason. An explanation is essential for your child to grow from his or her mistakes, thus becoming a more mature child.

ANSWER: I try to establish rules for the child, but inconsistencies in the behavior and atmosphere seem to interfere. This makes it very difficult to be stern with the child and deliver much, if any consistent disciplinary action.

SUGGESTION: It is suggested that you become more of an authoritative parent. This means that you should establish clear expectations, but also your child should have a clear understanding of why you are expecting him or her to behave in a certain manner. “Because” or “I said so” is not a good enough reasoning. An explanation is essential for your child to grow from his or her mistakes, thus becoming a more mature child. Your disciplinary actions should also become very consistent. You will want to make sure that you deliver an adequate punishment for bad behavior, getting it to the point, where your child will expect and understand why he or she is being punished.

ANSWER: I establish rules and the child has a clear understanding of why they exist. Disciplinary actions are taken on a consistent basis and most of the time the child expects the punishment and knows why he or she is receiving it.

SUGGESTION: Your parenting style for discipline is probably the most favorable. We would not suggest changing your style, but you should recognize what makes your technique as strong as it is. That is… clear expectations, clear understanding, and consistent punishment.

On the contrary, all parents should always praise their child for good behavior and acknowledge that behavior when ever possible. If there is no positive reinforcement for your child, he or she will not have the incentive to meet or exceed your expectations.

Divorced Parents Taking Similar Disciplinary Actions

Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006

Your disciplinary methods are probably a little different because it was always more the role of one parent to deliver the punishment than the other. This is not uncommon in a lot of families, but that does not mean it is right. Your child should expect the same actions from you and the other parent.

If you are not sure, you need to discuss with the other parent what the guidelines for discipline are going to be. You and the other parent should always maintain and reinforce the same disciplinary methods. If one parent decides to institute a new rule, it should be discussed with the other parent prior to implementation.

You and the other parent should always try to maintain and reinforce the same disciplinary methods. If one parent decides to institute a new rule, it should be discussed with the other parent prior to implementation. A parenting agreement will often have a section that addresses the disciplinary standards, so each parent is following the same rules for all disciplinary measures.

Parents can run into many difficulties when one parent is delivering a harsher punishment or the contrary, no punishment at all. A child will quickly catch on to one parent being more lenient, and often times that parent will become a scapegoat for the child. The child will say things like, “mom lets me do that at the dinner table”, or “If I were at dads house he would not care if I stayed up and watched a movie”. As you can tell, from the examples mentioned, the child has begun to play one parent against the other. This type of behavior by the child will hurt the parenting relationship. If your child does begin to make comparisons like the examples above, do not jump to any conclusions until you have spoken directly to the other parent. Your child can easily make up a quick story to try to get what he or she wants, so you may find that your child is deceiving you.

Once you do have an agreement about the disciplinary actions, sticking by them will create a sense of trust between you and the other parent. When you share knowledge and experiences about your child, you must tell both good and bad, along with what disciplinary action was or was not implemented.