Most people don’t want to jump right from divorce into another committed relationship. There is nothing wrong with this, but for those who come out of long-term marriages seem take it for granted that just because they have not spent years sleeping around they are safe from sexually transmitted diseases. When they begin to date and enjoy the company of the opposite sex, casual dating leads to casual sex because older divorced folks are dating older divorced folks. There is a dangerous assumption that just because someone is older and was in long- term marriage that there is no need to use protection when engaging in a sexual relationship.

Women past child bearing years are especially at risk for sexually transmitted diseases because they feel that since they can no longer become pregnant that a condom isn’t needed. They fail to realize that it isn’t about becoming pregnant. When a person sleeps with someone, he or she is sleeping with every partner his or her partner had.

Casual sex is unsafe at any age. In a survey conducted by the University of Chicago it was found that nearly 60 percent of unmarried women ages 58 to 93 said they didn’t use a condom. On Ohio University stud found hat about 27 percent of HIV-infected men and 35 percent of HIV-infected women over the age of 50 sometimes have sex without using condoms.

It pays to play it safe according to those statistics.

“To achieve a positive outlook and keep the emotional baggage from undermining… life after divorce,” one divorce consultant and educator advises a five-step program. Deborah Moskovitch, the author of The Smart Divorce: Proven Strategies and Valuable Advice from 100 Top Divorce Lawyers, Financial Advisers, Counselors and Other Experts, suggests these five steps:

1. Acknowledge that you are grieving and deal with the emotions.

2. Put your children’s best interests first.


3. Learn about your finances – develop a monthly budget, understand your assets and liabilities.

4. Think about how you would like your life to look like after divorce and start doing some of those things now, to help you get there.

5. Prepare for the friend dynamics. It’s not about you, but how friends react to divorce itself.