Sharing your feelings with your child during the divorce and/or separation is highly recommended, but you should limit it to those other than financial concerns and emotional feelings towards the other parent.

Separated parents can not live as cheaply together as apart, so it is inevitable that you and your child will be financially affected by the new conditions. As a parent it is your job, especially through this experience, to provide security and stability for your child, so the consistent mentioning of financial troubles will greatly lessen that sense of security and stability. Your goal should be to protect your child from as many worries as possible, especially those that are financial related. Friends, relatives, and/or support groups are the best outlet for discussing any financial problems you may have.

Strategies and Tactics to Ease the Financial Burden of Your Child:

- Have someone to talk to about emotional and financial burdens. Have these discussions in a place away from your child.

- When assigning new responsibilities to your child, make sure your child is mature enough for the task and the new responsibility does not carry a financial burden.

- Discuss or negotiate the financial situation with the other parent when your child is not present.

- Never blame the other parent for the financial problems in front of your child. This will place your child in a vulnerable, no-win position.

Comparing your child to the other parent in a negative way is the quickest and easiest way to do the most emotional harm to your child. Let’s analyze the situation. You are no longer going to living with and/or be married to the other parent, therefore your child perceives the obvious, you do not love the other parent anymore or at least there is something certainly wrong with the relationship. You proceed to compare your child to the other parent in a negative way, which causes your child to come to the conclusion that you do not love him or her anymore for the same reasons you do not love the other parent. The negative comparisons are, distancing you from your child, putting your child in another no-win situation, and diminishing his or her self-esteem.

Positive statements and comparisons can make all the difference in the world for your child. If you and or the other parent agree to promote each other in a kind manner, the benefits for your child will be insurmountable and you can be assured you are doing a great justice for your child during this difficult time.