If you and your spouse can come to a meeting of the minds about the terms and conditions of your divorce, you may want to consider a pro se divorce. Pro se means “for yourself.” In a pro se divorce, each of you represents himself or herself in court, and sometimes, depending upon the jurisdiction, it is not even necessary for both of you to even appear.

When you can make it work, pro se divorce cuts the cost of a divorce because it eliminates, or at least dramatically reduces, the involvement of lawyers, who are a considerable cost in adversarial legal actions.

All states permit pro se filing. Some states have websites offering all the forms needed for a simple or simplified divorce action where one or both parties does the filing normally done by a lawyer. Many states now permit summary divorce actions, where both you and your spouse file as copetitioners, or a default divorce, where one of you files and the other spouse does not respond. When both of you are in agreement about everything, you file for an uncontested divorce, and rest of the action moves administratively through the court system.

Pro se lawyering particularly appeals to young couples ending a short-term marriage with no children, both spouses working, and easily distributed assets and debts.

A few caveats are in order. Pro se filing does not work in divorces where one of you wants to punish the other for the failure of the marriage. Pro se lawyering should not even be considered if one of you has retained a lawyer, or the divorce is contested, or the two of you cannot even sit down at the same table to talk about ending the marriage. Pro se filing does not work if one of you wants to use litigation as a way of punishing the other. But it can work very well in cases where both of you agree that neither of you is at fault, that neither of you will contest the action, and that revenge and selfishness benefit neither of you.

Because it costs less, both of you end of with more money, which you will need when you start anew as single people. Pro se divorce can work for you if you and your spouse can unmake your marriage and each go your own way, if not as friends, then at least not as enemies.

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We hear many stories of divorcing spouses, especially pro se filers, getting discouraged when they ask a question at the county courthouse and the clerk or the clerk’s assistance reply, “sorry, but we can not give out legal advice”. Yes, many of the questions asked do not require any sort of advice at all, but for liability reasons the clerk and assistants are instructed to provide limited help, if any at all.

If you have a question regarding your divorce and the process, we suggest asking them to point you in the right direction. In doing so, you are not actually asking them for an answer, but rather asking them where you may be able to go to research the answer.

Also, keep in mind that the county courthouse has a legal library which is open to the public. This library may contain sample divorce documents, filing instructions, or explanations. A library assistant on staff may become your best friend.

As a reminder, you never want to express anger or argue with the clerk. He or she will be facilitating your divorce from start to finish, so this would not be a relationship you want to sever.

It has become very popular over the last few years for spouses to actually do their own divorce without a lawyer. Doing your own divorce will save you money just as long as you take the appropriate steps throughout out the divorce procedure.

It is advised that you get a general understanding, prior to taking on this task. Thousands of divorces are filed every year without a lawyer and most of these divorces are uncontested. This means that you and your spouse mutually agree on the issues that will dissolve your marriage.

If you do decide to divorce on your own, make sure the paperwork you are filing is state specific and make sure you meet the residency requirements for where you wish to divorce.