Legal Fees, necessary or not?

November 17th, 2008

Legal fees can be a necessary expense when contemplating divorce. However, how do you know if you are paying your lawyer too much and if they are doing what they claim to be doing for you?

Remember, every telephone call, letter, pleading (filing with the court), court appearance, research and even email is being charged to you. Divorce, custody and support cases can be very expensive for the parties involved. It is best if husband and wife can attempt to be civil and try to negotiate the details of division of property, custody, visitation, etc., before taking this to the lawyer.

Getting along, the best you can, will save both parties money in the long run. That is not to say a lawyer is necessary in all cases or that no one should get a lawyer, only you know if you need a lawyer or not. However, getting divorced is emotional enough without having money issues piled on top.

Trying to work together to end a marriage will be the easiest way to save money throughout the divorce. Hiring lawyers to “fight it out” will only cost you what little your “marital estate” may be worth. It is best if you both can negotiate rather than allowing the court to decide who should get what.

Inheritances! Yours, Mine or Ours

November 13th, 2008

You’ve just inherited a large sum of money from your great-aunt Esther. Now, what to do with the funds. Do you place the money in a joint bank account? Do you keep the money separate, just in case since you and your spouse have had problems and contemplated divorce in the past? Or do you pay for the much needed roof and other upgrades on the marital home thinking you will get a higher selling price if you need to sell the home?

The first thing you need to understand is if the inheritance will fall under the Marital Property Act as community or separate property. Most states see an inheritance as separate property but some, do not. If an inheritance is seen as separate property you need to know if there are ways a state would see the inheritance as community property.

For the most part, as long as the inheritance is not used for the “benefit” of the marriage for you and your spouse, the funds should remain separate property. However, to protect the inheritance, you should seek the advice of a qualified financial expert and/or lawyer. Additionally, community property states may look at inheritances differently so it is very important that you know how the inheritance will be affected if a divorce should occur.

Child Relocation: Here Today - Gone Tomorrow

November 11th, 2008

In the midst of a divorce mom may decide she needs to go to work and her best bet is in another state. She up and moves the children, starts her job and begins her new life. Dad is left in the state that the original divorce/custody papers are filed. What now?

Some states may require mom to move back to the original state pending custody resolution. Some states may even hold a hearing to determine if mom can relocate with the children, even if it is for the betterment of the family.

It is best to not relocate until you have custody resolved or at least both mom and dad agree on the relocation. Tearing a family apart even one state away can wreak havoc on the children. The courts will make their determination on relocation as to what is in the “best interest” of the children anyway so make sure moving isn’t being done for punishment.

Covering the Issue of College Expenses for Your Children

November 6th, 2008

When parents divorce, oftentimes the children are younger and possibly not even school age yet. They have not even thought about their child’s college support but in deciding to get married felt they wanted their child to attend post-secondary school. Now the marriage is unraveling and divorce is imminent. What to do about college expenses.

There is no set one way to come to terms of college support. Each state has their own way of dealing with college support and this “obligation”. If you want to make sure your child has a college education, this should be set out, in writing, as part of the divorce settlement/support obligation. If not, this support could possibly be lost.

It is best to discuss this issue with a lawyer or at the very least if both husband and wife are doing a pro se divorce, with each other and set forth specific details as to what is to be covered and what conditions should be placed on the child attending college. There are many different areas, including but not limited to the child’s attendance to classes enrolled in, living expenses, books, even doing laundry at school costs money. All the necessary expenses need to be addressed. Leave no stone un-turned in this area of support.

Divorcing Women Getting Taken to the Cleaners

November 6th, 2008

One issue that plagues divorcing couples is finances. Women, you need to know what finances go through the home. Do not fall victim to the “ignorance is bliss” attitude when it comes to finances. Letting your spouse take care of all the financial aspects of the marriage/household is fine but you must know about the finances should divorce ever become a possibility. If you do not know what debts or assets you have, how can you benefit from them? Or, what debts out there in your marriage can come back to haunt you?

Not knowing about your finances is an easy way to get taken to the cleaners. Your spouse can easily hide assets quickly as you never knew they existed. Arm yourself with knowledge, before the possibility of a divorce. You may never need the information, but what happens if you find yourself in need of it? Will your spouse willingly give up the financial information? You cannot bank on a friendly divorce. It is a goal to be sure, but not an absolute.

Homosexual Marriages and Divorce

October 27th, 2008

According to the Defense of Marriage Act in 1996, there is no agency of the federal government that recognizes same-sex marriages. However, on a state level, Massachusetts, California and Connecticut recognize same-sex marriages and Vermont, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Maine, Hawaii, Washington, DC, Oregon and Washington State created “legal unions” for same-sex couples wishing to have what could be termed a “marriage” with similar marriage rights or limited rights under marriage.

So now you are married. You and your spouse are having problems and want to seek a divorce. Is a same-sex couple afforded the same rights and/or responsibilities as a heterosexual couple when it comes to divorce? The answer is not as clear cut as one would think.

Since not all states recognize same-sex marriages, and no federal agency recognizes same-sex marriage, it is difficult to say how to best proceed with divorce. Seeking the advice of a lawyer who has experience in same-sex marriages or divorce would be very sapient. A lawyer who has experience in this field would be able to protect you in a divorce and advise you as to what you are or are not entitled to.

Shopping for a Divorce Lawyer?

October 22nd, 2008

When shopping around for a divorce lawyer, what qualities are most important to look for? This is often a highly charged question with surprisingly little answers. Word of mouth would seem like a good way to go; however, what one person feels is a great quality, another might not.

All local bar associations offer lawyer referral services. It is best to check with your local bar association to find a lawyer in your area and see if they have a free consultation. If so, you may find that you clique right away or would not even stand another minute in their presence. Sometimes you may have to meet with a few lawyers to find the right one for you. But remember, hiring a divorce lawyer that will work for you and not just for the money they make is the reward.

Find a lawyer who will listen to you as well as have suggestions; but one that does not over-power your comments. A lawyer who is too aggressive may also be that way in a courtroom and a judge may not care for that personality type. After all, you will have to live with the final outcome regarding your divorce Ad Vitam Aeternam (for all time). Be prepared and be diligent.

Parental Behavior During and After Divorce

October 20th, 2008

When a couple divorce it is easy to put the children in the middle of disputes. However, the couple must love their children more than they hate each other. Allowing children to be used as pawns in a divorce action is no different than child abuse.

Parental alienation is very quickly utilized when a mother will say, “if your father would only give me more money then I could buy you that outfit”, or “see, your father never picks you up when he says he will”. Rather than push the child away from their parent, it would best serve the adults and more importantly the children, for parents to get along as best as possible.

Remember, adults are the decision makers here, children don’t usually have a say in whether the parents should or should not divorce; nor should they. The children should be protected in every way possible before, during and after the divorce. It is the parents’ duty to facilitate this.

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Smoking - A Factor in Custody Awards?

October 17th, 2008

With some of the states recently passing legislation regarding smoking in public places, how does smoking affect custody? Courts have a “duty” to protect the innocent of a divorce - the children. Some courts liken parental smoking to child abuse and neglect.

Studies show that secondhand smoke can produce life-threatening issues in children.

Mom will no longer be around to make dad go outside to smoke. Living in his new one-room apartment, rather than a five-bedroom family home, dad may feel he has a right to smoke where he chooses, which includes the very living space his children will visit.

Make sure you check your local courts and laws dealing with parental smoking and how that could affect custody. If you have any concerns a little research goes a long way in protecting your children.

Divorcing a Missing Spouse

October 13th, 2006

We hear from many spouses who are trying to get a divorce, but they do not no the whereabouts of their spouse. This is a common situation, especially if you have been separated for quite some time. The process for divorcing a missing spouse is somewhat more complicated and lengthy do to extra procedures one must follow. This type of divorce is commonly referred to as a “Divorce by Publication”.

A “Divorce by Publication” requires a spouse to prove to the court that he or she has made a legitimate attempt to local his or her husband or wife. In order to fulfill the requirements of the court a public legal notice announcing the filing of the divorce must be placed in the newspaper for a specified period of time (typically 30 days).

We suggest going through the following steps to try to locate your spouse. Who knows you may already be divorced.

1. Contact Friends and Family.
2. Call Information.
3. Contact Past Employers.
4. Do a Search Report at ussearch.com

If you do find your spouse, you can have him or her professionally served with your divorce paperwork. This will almost always speed up the process. What ever you do, do not intentionally avoid finding your spouse.