Exercise Your Opportunities During Divorce

Itís possible that you may not be thinking as clearly now as you usually do. Here are a few suggestions. If you already have a solid network in place, consider adding a little more depth to it.

Set up a regular group function to look forward to, such as a weekly dinner out or poker party. Weekday evenings are good. This provides a built-in opportunity to share, and also to put aside for a while, the troubles that burden you.

Combine another regular weekly session with a group exercise opportunity that provides a chance to get together afterwards. For example, join a volleyball league at your skill level. If your dinner out or poker party is a same-sex group, choose a mixed, informal exercise group.

Suggest fishing, hiking, shopping or jogging to people you know to have such interests. The physical exercise is healthy and a good stress outlet. As a bonus, you may find both a good listener and friend who likes the same activities you do, with the chance for helpful, one-on-one discussions.

Existing groups, organized for some other purpose, may provide a forum for your frustrations during the divorce process. Rachel made especially effective use of her bible group when going through the roughest part of her divorce.

Participation in ongoing interests also provides wonderful diversion. Don’t give up activities solely because you can’t use them to tell all. Likewise, you don’t have to spill your guts to everyone you come in contact with.

Pets offer wonderful companionship. Dogs give you unqualified loyalty. Cats are your little, independent friends. It’s okay to talk to them, and they never disagree. Pets aren’t a substitute for human contact, but you sure feel special when they welcome you home.

Don’t pass up the obvious if you have brothers and sisters. The telephone bill may get a little high, but it’s still cheaper than a therapist. Your family already knows your entire history; hopefully, they’re also supportive.

Your minister may be an excellent source of comfort and understanding. Perhaps your church sponsors a group helping people deal with divorce. You won’t know unless you make the contact.

Share your special needs and concerns with others who have the same problems. Groups of fathers’ rights advocates, single parents, women’s right to support and adults in transition meet in many communities. Although it helps to get the input of others, filter the viewpoints, which may or may not apply to you. In sensitive areas, such as your children, be especially careful to weigh all input, even that of your therapist, before making any changes.