How can a couple find a qualified marriage counselor?

They can look in the telephone book, where there are sure to be many counselors listed. It is often difficult to get a referral for a counselor from a friend or co-worker, since people tend to want to keep this type of thing secret.
Children and Family Services organizations offer counseling at little or low cost, and many communities have other social support organizations that do the same.

The place to begin is a local women’s center or a nearby college or university.

Very often one spouse (often the husband) refuses to go for marriage counseling claiming the couple can work it out without help. Faced with this, most professionals suggest that the woman should go on her own. In going alone, she gains helpful insight into her marriage.

Sometimes one spouse believes that the counselor or therapist is a referee scoring a fight or taking sides. Good counselors or therapists do not do that, and it happens that one spouse may dislike the therapist when he hears things he does not wish to hear. Nevertheless, if one spouse is not comfortable with the therapist, the couple probably will make little or no progress. They should try to find a therapist that both are comfortable with.